Thoughts about life & being’Cast-Away’ at sea…

tom-hanks


Dear Readers,

This is my first very first blog post and I have decided to kick it off with a rant about the 1999 movie ‘Cast-Away’. I remember watching this movie in the cinema years ago and feeling stupid about how much I cried when “Wilson the Volley-ball” floated out to sea. Now in 2016, after having a small cry about getting rejected for a job I had put a ton of effort into getting, I decided to re-watch it again for this first time, so I I could have another guilt-free cry in the privacy of my own bedroom.

You see, I have been unemployed for the last 4 years. This was probably about the 10000th job interview I had applied for. I feel as disconnected from society and the world as ever, being holed up in my apartment. 4 years ago, I foolishly got married and abandoned shortly after by my husband. I fell into a deep depression and developed a severe case of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder and Social Anxiety. After being transient for a while, I finally found my own apartment where I could live with my pets and after many years of treatment from my kindly 70 year old Shrink, I felt healthy enough and able to join the real world again.

Like Tom Hanks, I felt I had been sentenced to live alone on a deserted island, driving myself slowly insane by having philosophical discussions with my Pekingese dog Lalla. I felt I had no purpose to serve and that society and people where a million miles away from me. I had isolated myself, and as a person who has lived without any family whatsoever for over 16 years, this feeling was compounded by friends who drifted out of my life when the going was tough.

Like Tom Hanks though, I hope one day a sail will wash up onto my shore. I can build a raft and slowly float back into the real world. I now have a great partner, but no real friends and no job. Just put one foot in front of the other and “keep breathing” as Tom Hank’s character would say.

As long as there is life, there is hope.


 

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